I need to go back to work and I am having a tough time not actually looking for a job but finding one that meets my needs.....lol. Meaning I wish I was independently wealthy, but unfortunately I have not won the lotto yet. I need to cover my bills, but at the same time I am definitely not ready to go back to a full time job and work the 40 hours required to meet my financial needs. I am not being lazy, I am just being realistic. I get super tired after just 2 hours of doing anything and then I get super irritated. My main concern is that I go to work and after the first two hours there I may need to lay down. I am pretty sure that it would be frowned upon if I was caught lying on the carpet somewhere; if I am so lucky to find carpet, since I live in Florida everything is basically tile here! If I don't get to lay down, then I am worried that my irritability will get the best of me and I am scared of what may happen. Honestly, I just survived Stage 4 Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and went thru a really tough regimen of chemotherapy and I am at a stage where me walking out of a job does not seem unlikely. My mentality is if cancer didn't kill me then me walking out on a job definitely won't. That is the stuff that I am dealing with right now. My mind is crazy and I am trying to get some normalcy back. It's called Chemo brain and that is not the half of it. My short term memory, which works some days and other days, I have no retention of what has just transpired. Maybe its the chemo brain or old age or even that I just don't care.....Help me! I need Help and I know it will take time , but I am all out of time and need to pay my bills. All joking aside, I went on a job interview the other day and at first I was like nah, but now I am like yes, I want it. Yes, I need it, Yes, I can do this. If it doesn't pan out, I am sure something else will and I will just breathe in and take one day at a time.
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